Run Away

ugh so this semester I decided to take 3 classes. I already regret it and I’m only 6 weeks in. I’m just sick of being so behind in school. People my age already have a bachelors degrees and careers.

I know…. I always hear it… There are people who go to work full time and take a full class schedule and have kids and there doing it just fine. I hate it when people say that. How do they expect me to respond? “I must be stupid or something” is what I always say then they feel bad about it. But that is honestly the right answer. When I did take a full class schedule (4 classes) while working full time I failed almost everything. That’s why I started only doing one class at a time. Changed my mind this semester and now I want to quit everything and run away!!!

And Like I’ve said many times before; i hate my job. I want to quit so bad!!! I’ve been putting out about 5 resumes out a week and still haven’t heard anything! I’ve gotten the email response saying that I haven’t gotten the job but no call backs or interviews. I feel like its hopeless!!! A customer told me “F**K you” for the first time. They have said the F word on the phone but not directly at me. I don’t understand how people can stay in that job for so long.

And since we started drinking again now that my birthday pasted for some reason my babysitter has been getting drunk a lot. He gets mean when he is drunk and its hard to deal with. Especially if I’m sober! Its like taking care of a little kid I hate it. And the next day he hates it too but he still does it.

And my family has been bugging me a lot especially my sister. Her gallbladder decided it need to come out. She had the surgery and now she needs someone to take care of her because she can’t pick up her baby. Did I ever write about that? Oh yeah well fyi she had a baby anyway. I understand that she had the surgery and needs extra help but its not only after she has surgery that she expects everyone to wait on her hand and foot. She is always having someone do something for her or her kids. I’m sure I sound extremely selfish right now but I don’t care! Everyone has always catered to her and they get made when I don’t go over and visit. I can’t take it at my parents house with all the kids there running around and my sister expecting me to help her.

Seriously I want to run away for a week or something where I don’t have to answer to anyone and I don’t have to be responsible for anything. I’m going insane! What do people do when they feel like this?

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