Short term fix of pansy’s and blogging

I went to my…. Crazy doctor yesterday. I told her how I cry out work and she said I should get short-term disability. I’m hesitant to do it. I feel like I would be taking advantage of the system. But at the same time I’ve been getting in trouble for unplugging from my work phone because I’ve been crying so much.

My babysitter is so annoyed with me. I know why he feels that way. He thinks I’m just a lazy cry baby. And to be honest that is what I am but I can’t stop my crying! But I want to take the time. When I told my crazy doctor she said the only bad thing about short-term disability is that you have to go back. So that sucks. I just want to have a job where I’m happy!

I’ve been trying to put out more resumes. I’ve been keeping track. Since Wednesday I’ve put out 23 applications. I got a no from one of them just two days after. How can they decide so quickly? But then again I wish they all got back to me that quickly so then I don’t have to be wondering all this time. I know I’ve sent out dozens and dozens of applications and I’m sure some are still floating around and I’m here waiting for any sign that any one of those companies have the slightest interest in me. Its… pathetic…


One thing that does help is gardening. Thank God winter is almost over. Its been sunny where I live so I brought some pansy’s. They are my favorite flower. When I saw the Disney movie Alice in Wonderland the scene where she talks with the flowers stuck with me. The pansy’s look like little kids and I still see those faces when I see the flower. I even sing the song golden afternoon song :). Next I’m going to buy some daffodils.

Another thing that helps is this. Writing. Have you noticed I’ve been posting more? I like to write poetry and short stories. I haven’t done it in a long time but lately I’ve been getting ideas for stories or the perfect image. I was advised not to post any of that on the blog though. But doing it helps. A lot.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Honest awful truth about pain/pride | Lessons as I learn them

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