Honest awful truth about pain/pride

I’ve always had lower back pain. When I told my doctor about it she told me to just stretch out my back. That’s usually been working but two weeks ago it wasn’t and my back was in so much pain I was crying. So yet another reason I was crying at work but not because of the usual reason. I had to leave early that day. I slept over at my mom’s house because she had pain meds and she said she didn’t want me driving on those pills (first night without my babysitter). The next day I went to the doctors only to find out…


My dad quit his job. Meaning I have no insurance. Perfect timing right? But thank God for my flexible spending account. And I applied for insurance with my job but it won’t kick in until May 1st… Stupid! Anyway my doctor didn’t have any appointments (not until the 30th!) so I went to the urgent care. They just said I irritated my sciatic nerve somehow.


I decided to pull an FMLA claim. Not for what I thought it would be (my depression) but I couldn’t function on the muscle relaxers the doc gave me so I couldn’t work. So I have to get my primary doctor to fill out some forms (the doctor at the urgent care refused to fill out any paperwork for me!).

I was seriously worried about my back pain because when it happened it was the most painful thing I ever felt. My right foot has been numb since it happened. It’s since faded to only my pinky toe and the ball of my foot. But the pain part has gone away. I looked up my symptoms and there are a few things that could be happening. One just my sciatic nerve is still irritated, two a slipped disk in my back, or early signs of multiple sclerosis. Sciatic never not to big of a deal but the other two are.


Here’s the honesty part. Read with caution! The only reason I’m saying it is because I’m anonymous on here. Anyway, The kind of FMLA I applied for is the kind where you can leave at any time. Here it is guys: I wish it was something… more… serious. If I was then I could leave work at anytime and… people would worry about me more.


The more I write this blog the more I hate myself. A lot of self-realization going on here.


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